PA Vol. 46: Let's Talk Change and the Psyche


For this edition of PA, Speed on the Beat sits out and lets Drizzle Sez and The Gingawd talk their shit. If you thought that Speed and Drizzle got off on tangents, you've seen nothing yet. No pictures, no memes. Just talk about the mental state of our society.

Drizzle: So, I should probably blend blood into the coffee that pulses through my veins.

Gingawd: So..I'll go get the knife. Boom. Filter.

Drizzle: My texts with you might get me put on The List.

Gingawd: What list?

Drizzle: Probably some sort of sexual assaulter list. Talking with you will probably get me put on a watchlist for possible violent sexual offenders.

Gingawd: What? Who's looking at our stuff, though.

Drizzle: Gubment.

Gingawd: Fair enough. I'm kinda Megan's Law waiting to happen.

(Drizzle shakes his head)

Drizzle: What the hell happened in the Navy? I really wanna know.

Gingawd: So, Chiraq is back. 90 deaths, one month--

Drizzle: 440 something on the year, right? Don't change the subject.

Gingawd: Well, besides the normal deployment stuff? I dunno. My humor got really, really disturbing.

Drizzle: No shit. You went from "booze yay" to "I'll shove my dick down your ass, no lube."

Gingawd: Just the tip because I'm classy. But, for real? I don't know where the evil stems from, exactly.

Drizzle: Is it the Satanic worship that is the Navy?

Gingawd: Probably between the bullshit and the insanity, my reaction was simple: Become the greater evil. So, I've got to take all of these Humanities study courses. The more I take, the better I can argue with and manipulate people.

Drizzle: ...you can try. I'm a Taurus, too, you know. I know how to turn a convo.

Gingawd: I already have. Just outside our group of friends.

Drizzle: I also know how to call you out for your bullshit.

(Drizzle smiles, almost wickedly)

Gingawd: My bullshit? That's half the fun! Our conversations are organic and fun--

Drizzle: Because you want to see me naked, right?

Gingawd: Surprisingly no. I don't. That's Korba [The No Pants Gamer]

Drizzle: Also true. He's another beast entirely. But...you just keep asking.

Gingawd: Because you're never comfortable with it--

Drizzle: I don't want to bless you with the gift that is my penis.

Gingawd: Apparently, it's a curse until now with all the crazy looming--

Drizzle: As in you? And your need to see Ralph--you know, because my dick wrecks it? So, what? You enjoy making people uncomfortable?

Gingawd: Well, I actually meant the other females that you applied the Five D's of Dodgeball too--

Drizzle: Drops in a bucket. Irrelevant. I hang out with you. So, I repeat: you enjoy making people uncomfortable?

Gingawd: Clearly. Look at some of my favorite comedians. They find the line and cross it, just to see if they can make people laugh.

Drizzle: I find myself very, very happy to hear you say that. Because you wouldn't be the first ginger to fall to the inspiring effects of Ralph. Or the second, third, fourth, fifth--

Gingawd: You know what I hate? It's a weird annoyance of mine. People who don't lace their boots right. And at least I'm not like NPG. I don't premeditate the jokes. They're all just whimsical musings of my crazy.

Drizzle: And I would love to see what makes you insane.

Gingawd: So, what? You're gonna be my Killing Joke?

Drizzle: No. I wanna find out what your one bad day was. So...

Gingawd: Dunno. Seems to happen randomly.

Drizzle: No shit. So, I'd say it was like a switch flipping. By the way, Speed, are you getting all this?

Speed: Yep. I don't see why I couldn't join in on this one.

Drizzle: You said you needed a break, so I gave you one. Now, get back to recording. Anyways, Gingawd, answer the question.

Gingawd: When the switch flips, I feel like Sisyphus.

Drizzle: So, what, in your life, makes you feel like you're pushing that rock, knowing that it'll come down?

Gingawd: OK, so before I was ten, I was a typical white kid. I didn't know what racism was. Once I found out, I was genuinely outraged that people and industries were/are built around these views. Now, let's look at global geography. Is it fair and even? Add in the fact that human tribalism and the fact that even the best people can only feel comfortable with, maybe, 150 people. Both are general acceptable and correct theories in psychology.

The world isn't built fair and our generation could fix it. However, we aren't ready and I really think that, if we don't drastically change, we're walking into a Doomsayer situation in the next decade or so.

Drizzle: So, you're like any other good person. Also, your kind are aliens.

Gingawd: White people or gingers?

Drizzle: Yes. But, how does all that tie into you becoming a deviant?

Gingawd: It's my way of dealing with that feeling of doom. It unburdens me of the evils I deal with, kind of like The Comedian from Watchmen.

Drizzle: So...because the world sucks, you make a shitload of distasteful, dark-ass jokes, sexual and otherwise?

Gingawd: The world sucks, so I've become disconnected to the world, I think. This is my first time, really, just sitting and looking at it. So, I begin to see humor, even in the darkest places.

Drizzle: Understandable. I continuously laugh at pain and shit.

Gingawd: I also know that I can be a beacon of light. Honestly, I think I can build an empire of good. That's a lot of pressure, since the boulder gets bigger every day. Yes, it's making me stronger in the end, but it's intimidating.

Drizzle: So, you run from it by being disconnected?

Gingawd: Maybe at an instinctive level. I spend the better part of five years gone from the world. Inserting myself back into a civilian reality is proving to be daunting.

Drizzle: How so?

Gingawd: I genuinely don't connect with most of my peers. I'm not, like, prophet-level intelligent or anything. I'm not this generation's Stephen Hawking. But, I do see how all everyone's reality is. I don't know. It just doesn't fit.

Drizzle: Welp. Hate to break it to you. But, that's normal, Dr. Gingawd. People usually don't have but a handful of people they click with.

Gingawd: Which I have a love-hate with. I wish I could hep people because I believe my world view is better. It may be ego or ignorance, but it's frustrating.

Drizzle: You could just go full hero or God complex, like some people we know and shall not name--

Gingawd: But, if our company is a success, it'll be thrust upon me.

Drizzle: Nope. Companies don't exactly invoke the "helping people" gene.

Gingawd: But, our ethos was different. We want to give people upward mobility.

Drizzle: But, it wasn't altruism.

Gingawd: Also, we're gonna fund your mad scientist experiments. But, I wanna build the company to protect and see my hard work truly pay off. Not fully altruistic, but a greater good, genuinely speaking.

Drizzle: Well, a mad man once told me he'd either take this place, or destroy it. God complexes. Tricky bitches.

Gingawd: I'm holding off until the last second on the throne of my mind.

Drizzle: But everyone, one day, they feel like the world sucks and they could make it/do it better.

Gingawd: But, with my resources and skills, there's no reason but to make it better.

Drizzle: Yes, there is an excuse. Your view is wrong, my view is wrong.

Gingawd: Not an excuse. That's a reason.

Drizzle: The only reasons we are all wrong is this. "From the ashes of this world, we shall build a new one." So, we retreat to brain excuses, like your sex jokes.

Gingawd: So, you believe in the Dark Phoenix Cult?

Drizzle: I don't know what that is.

Gingawd: It's similar to the Fire God in GOT.

Drizzle: I mean, he gets results. But I don't look for phephasis from the Lord of Light. I, like other people, coast through the shit until I die or eventually break and think that this world is better as ash. And you...get naked? Is that true?

Gingawd: I see what you're getting. My jokes are more comedian-like where I can directly confront you with whatever can both you.

Drizzle: It don't bother me much. But, we're friends. And as such, I'm supposed to notice changes.

Gingawd: That's why I had to escalate so much and add all the terrible comedies we watch.

Drizzle: Wait. Why'd you have to escalate?

Gingawd: But, the original question? I don't think there's one single event that made me who I am, regarding my crazy.

Drizzle: Of course not.

Gingawd: All I have to do in this world is stay white and die. Everything else is secondary.

(Drizzle gives Gingawd a look)

Drizzle: But...you admitted you delve into the hypersexual. I wanna know where that came from.

Gingawd: I choose to escalate and that's me challenging some social convention. I mean, also, me not fucking on deployment couldn't have helped me.

Drizzle: So, a drop in the social stigma bucket? Small change, one uncomfortable tool at a time?

Gingawd: Maybe, like I said, this is day one of actually looking into this. Maybe I might be addicted to the behavior of challenging and I've adapted it to the hypersexualized humor.

Drizzle: Or...we're just bad people.

Gingawd: Disagree. Our actions, in the long run, help more than harm.

Drizzle: OK. Now you've turned on the Laird. How will you saying "we could all just get naked" to everything help save the world? It's funny, yes. But is it helpful, Speed?

Speed: No.

Drizzle: Thank you. Now, continue transcribing this one.

Gingawd: However, we've both served honorably until we couldn't and our friends/family have laid at our feet and we've picked them up. All we ask is for a "thank you."

Drizzle: Not even that.

Gingawd: You want us to pay living wages to our employees when we get there?

Drizzle: You didn't answer my question. How are the sex jokes gonna help?

Gingawd: Depends on the situation. I've seen them inspire good ideas out of the group because people are like "Oh Lord, he's off the reservation" and someone steps up. Sometimes, it frames someone angry like "I'm not angry enough to--"

Speed: I think we get where you're going, so I'm gonna stop you on that one. Director's orders.

Gingawd: But, anyway, the military is a hyper-alpha, hypersexualized environment. And I'm not an alpha...even when I challenge wannabe alphas.

Drizzle: And in the Navy, personal space is kissing.

Gingawd: ...We grew up with true alphas (coughs) Mothers (coughs again). True story.

Drizzle: So, is that why you've been challenging me lately?

Gingawd: I don't feel like I challenge you. Do you?

Drizzle: It was a joke.

Gingawd: Missed the airplane on that one. Shall we continue this one later?

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