PA Volume 29: Loyalty

NSFW Warning/Disclaimer: 
PA (short for "Profound Assholes") is a series on SpeedontheBeat.com where I have a no-punches-pulled conversation with a friend about a hot-button issue (yay cliches!). That friend is usually none other than Drizzle Sez formerly of DrizzleSez.wordpress.com, who co-created the PA format (go check out his site. It's still live and still kicks much ass to this day). Today, we discuss...loyalty. Yep, we're coming for the heads today.

Drizzle: Let's talk loyalty.

Speed: Well, that's blunt. Let's talk loyalty.

Drizzle: Indeedly. Throw the fe-lines out the door, you pussies. Enjoy the missing jugulars. It's PA Time! So, anyone who knows the TRUE FACE of Drizzle, you know I'm loyal as a damn dog to people whom I deem worthy. But, way, way, wayyyyy too often, I find that most people aren't. Sometimes, breaking loyalty is smart. But, in today's world? It's becoming more commonly based on stupid human emotion. Blind ambitions. All that shit.

Speed: Well, that's what makes humans...stupid.

Drizzle: They just are. Okay, okay...let's go back and research. Why are humans or any living creatures loyal at all?



Speed: Pack mentality? Organisms fear that if they don't have someone in their corner, they'll die out.

Drizzle: Survival. Once upon a time--

Speed: Not long ago, you were a ho and now, you're admitting it?


Drizzle: Stop it. As I was saying...once upon a time in human history, the odds of a sole person surviving at all were laughable. A person's life expectancy back then? It was directly proportional to how many goons you knew. Passed down generations, survival isn't the only motivator anymore. But, loyalty still exists for several reasons that are beneficial.


Speed: True. Such as? I mean, ya know, go forth and outline them for the folks who don't know.

Drizzle: I mean, there's a lot. Social, emotional, economical--pick your poison.

Speed: So, why aren't people loyal, then? And when does it become a problem?

Drizzle: It's always a problem. This is a problem that hurts me right in the heart muscle. But DIGRESSION!

Speed: Pseudo. But, continue.

Drizzle: Sometimes, bridges need burning. Sometimes, the group's best interest aren't your best interests anymore. But that leads to this: whenever loyalty is severed, it's always due to selfishness.


Speed: True. But, is being not loyal to preserve the overall best interest of everyone, is that still selfish? Sometimes, it's needed to preserve both self and other. Or, at least, that's what we believe and/or tell each other and ourselves to make it seem better mentally. 

Drizzle: If what the group is doing is not for the best interest of the group, then someone made a bad decision. If they try to force you into the decision, they're selfish. If you ditch because you wanna do something else, you're selfish. But, there's levels to selfishness. It could literally be a fleeting emotion and that's it. Or, it could be lethal--

Speed: So, is selfishness an outright bad thing? Can selfishness be "good?" Or is it always inherently bad?

Drizzle: Well, let's look at this. If you don't wanna help me move because you're tired, you're selfish. If you want to kill me because you think it'll make your life easy, you're selfish. And no. Selfishness isn't always a bad thing. But, loyalty to a group is different than loyalty to a person. Loyalty to a person is...a little more intimate. To have loyalty to a person, you've gotta have trust on both sides. You're not the cog of a well-oiled machine anymore. It's personal.

Speed: Some people, they seem like they never understand that in terms of what makes loyalty and friendships work. It becomes me me me, in a bad way. Not in the "I'm preserving my life and my best interests because you're on some sort of BS" sort of way.

Drizzle: Well...let's get personal. I was on this one girl for a while. One day, she decides she want to fuck on someone else. She didn't do it.

Speed: Alright.

Drizzle: Now, as I see it? Fuckin' ain't love. If it meant nothing, give me bruh's name and location. She did. And what did I do?

Speed: Tattoo your fist imprint on his temple?

Drizzle: Nothing. Know why? Because I don't have to. The way I saw it then, she's only gonna have one of us. But, telling me his name and location told me that she didn't care about him. Because, as you said, the expectation was that I was gonna go floor dude. THAT was loyalty to me.

Now, let's fast forward. The relationship is waning down. I still think it can be fixed with some work. Meanwhile, she wants some alone time.

Speed: Is this where she goes back to fucking on dude?

Drizzle: Well, no. She decides she wants to fuck on some dude she works with this time. But she does through with it. What do I do? I get mad. Girl tried to start that ring talk, but wants a break. I fume for a second and bring it back: what's his name and location? She tells me. I'm like "Oh, ok. We can work this out."

Speed: Right...

Drizzle: Turns out that she lied about that shit. So, I end it abruptly right there. It's not because she fucked someone else. It's not that she's, obviously, a creepy bitch. She lied to protect him. So, to me? She's loyal to him and not me. And well? Drizzle ain't about that.

Speed: As no sane person should be. But, how you gonna lie about it when you're caught redhanded? That's what I don't really get. That "deny it, even if she finds a vagina in your pocket" shit doesn't really work. Regardless of what Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld said in Top Five. I tried it once. It failed.


Drizzle: Well, this ain't to bash her. It's to say what loyalty gains--and what a lack of it loses.

Speed: But, loyalty loss. It loses a lot. Usually, it's respect and ended relationships. Sometimes, it's for the best. Something? Sometimes, you fuck up and lose everything you'd worked for just for a couple seconds of so-called "peace."

Drizzle: That girl wanted it all. She could have had it. But, she'll find out in a few months what and how much she lost. People are naturally not loyal. This girl had a "what have you done for me lately?" demeanor. Answer? Nothing. So, she stopped being loyal. To use humanfolk, loyalty is conditional and based off the positive effects being loyal has.

Speed: Or the negatives. Duh, derp derp, all that shit.

Drizzle: Point is, we stop being loyal when we stop seeing a point to it. Doesn't sound bad, though. Why would I stay loyal when it's detrimental to me? The thing is this, though. The fact that nothing is positive doesn't always mean that everything is negative.

Speed: True. But, we tend to live in a black-and-white world.

Drizzle: No, we don't. Six-year-olds live in that world.

Speed: Alright, let me amend that. Six-year-olds and folks that have to shout out that they're adults tend to live in that world.


But, we all, to a degree, believe that some things are good, some are bad, and we tend to not question it as much as we could.

Drizzle: Idiots.

Speed: Oh, I agree.

Drizzle: Sometimes, there's just nothing. The flat space between the hill and the valley. Nothing good and nothing bad. That's the flatland of life. It's here that most people lost patience with their loyalty. At their lowest point, it can't get worse. At the highest point, why leave when it's good? It's when people don't know whether to look up or down. That's when they expect the worse and, often, create it.

Speed: Now, we're getting deeper and all philosophical. People are stupid, to a certain point. We've established that. We go for things that comfort us and tend to go apeshit when we exit said comfort zone. That's where that creation of the worst comes from, I'd like to think. Since, ya know, folks associate the unknown with being automatically bad since we can't predict it as much as we'd like to.

Drizzle: Indeed. Now, let's get even more personal. Speed, tell me about loyalty. From your Speed perspective.

Speed: Well, like yourself, I'm typically one of those "loyal to a fault" folks. I've, however, never been above cutting a person off if they were poisonous. Have I cut people off based solely on basic-ass emotions? Yeah. That's human nature. Do I try to, all of the time, weigh the positives and negatives in such situations? Hell, yeah.

For instance, a while ago, I was involved with this young woman. We were dating and all that nice stuff. Pretty serious, or, at least, I'd like to believe it was at the time. So, one day, I get stopped and arrested by police on a trumped-up charge. I call this young woman saying "hey, I need to to come get me from the police station five minutes from your house. I've been arrested on a BS charge and the cop who's here with me, he's willing to let me go if I have someone come pick me up."

She declines. Why? She says that she's got to sing at her ex-boyfriend's wedding in a couple house and for me to never call her again. So, I don't ask questions. I cut her off. Why? She wasn't loyal to me. She was loyal to my dick--and her singing abilities.

Now, on another note. When it comes to, like, my boys and shit? I do the same thing. I try to think with my mind when it comes to loyalty versus just my heart and "emotions." You can never make just emotion-based decisions and win in life. Do you want another?

Drizzle: Si.

Speed: Well, you said "get personal." You know, and the readers know, that you and I are like brothers. And, like the brothers we claim to be, we've had our disagreements and discrepancies over stuff. However, before either one of us flat out says "fuck you" to the other, we think. We remember "oh, hey. Drizzle was there for me when not too many were after my mom and dad died" or "Speed was there when that one chick fucked me over."

The good outweighs the bad by a heap and the times where there wasn't really anything? I'd like to think we actually used our brains to determine shit. I think that loyalty, in general, it's based around past experiences and using your brain to figure out what's real, what's fake, what's made-up-in-your-head bullshit versus a fleeting emotion, et cetera. Is it foolproof to base emotionally-drenched things in more intellectual capacities over flat out emotion? Eh...

But, it beats the hell out of just acting with your gut or heart all the time.

Drizzle: Emotions. Good for the soul. Good for socialization. Bad for society. Loyalty splits based on emotion. For instance, you'll do for your woman before you do for your boys. Because, and just so, you're more emotionally attached to your woman. But, look at tweens. More specifically, look at tween girls.


They'll do, more often than not, do more for someone who don't even like 'em before they do for their sandbox friends. And for what? Popularity? Logical sense could split loyalty just as well, of course. But, it rarely does. Split loyalty is not bad when done for the right reasons.

Speed: But, it'd appear that often, it's not done for the right reasons.

Drizzle: Not in my experience. But, I can't judge people for their decisions when the decisions themselves are not obviously stupid. But usually? They're obviously stupid.

Speed: True again.

Drizzle: For instance, leaving your boy stranded 40 miles from home so you can go spend time with a girl you're not even fucking? That's dumb ass shit.


Speed: True. I mean, we haven't really ever done it to folks. But, there are some who have. I don't get it, though. I'm not dipping on someone who's stranded unless I know, for 100% sure, that I'm getting laid. And even then! I'm gonna make sure my people are alright and taken care of. That's especially if it's just some random or a "boo jawn" or someone who isn't, like, a legit girlfriend.

Drizzle: It's a bad phenom. Because more often than not? It fucks you and the people involved up when you decide wrong. So what do you do? When your emotions fire off in the wrong direction. I try to calm down. Reach cold zero. Then make the logical choice.

Speed: True. Same. I mean, at least, I try to. Try because I know that me being me, I do have a habit of rushing into shit at times.

Drizzle: But, that logicality? It could save a friendship. It could save a life. Taking the time just to be sure that there's a real reason to severe the ties and stop being loyal. But, that's when you have...bad loyalty.

Speed: When you stick around even though there's a reason to dip? Or...?

Drizzle: It's simple. When loyalty becomes destructive, ditch it. You shouldn't be doing anything you think will have disastrous consequences because of someone else.

Speed: True. But, some just don't get this.

Drizzle: At that point, it's better if you advise certain parties how bad it is. Just saying.

Speed: So, what about loyalty to two people who don't like what the other does to you?

Drizzle: Easy. At the heart and soul of this discussion, always be real with yourself. Always be loyal to yourself.

Speed: Even if it hurts?

Drizzle: If you're loyal to yourself, it won't hurt.

Speed: This is true. It's when it comes to other when it starts to sting, at times. But, I'd rather you be loyal than spare feelings, though.

Drizzle: If you look out for your own best interests and know when those are tied to others and when they're not? You're fudging golden.

Speed: True. If I'm fucking up, I trust you to be like "hey, Speed. You're fucking up. Stop fucking up." That's a sign of loyalty.

Drizzle: Indeedly.

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