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Speed ontheBeat Speed ontheBeat Author
Title: Too Many Cooks: The Crowded Clusterfuck of 2016
Author: Speed ontheBeat
Rating 5 of 5 Des:
Ok, let's all take a deep breath and think about what's about to begin, full-force, in about seven months. Everyone and their m...

Ok, let's all take a deep breath and think about what's about to begin, full-force, in about seven months. Everyone and their mother is vying for the Presidency. That's a given. I mean, it's the friggin' Presidency. If Scandal has taught us anything, it's that people will do anything for that power. Including blowing commercial planes out the sky with the help of terrorist-like organizations who are actually some sort of SIS/MI6 spy team who are powertripping their balls off. Oh, and Kerry Washington will always crawl back to the guy who did such sky blowing because THE CONCEPT OF LUV...or something. Also, something about Quinn being weirdly hot, but I digress. But, there's something different about this go-around.

This election season, we might need Eli Pope to work some of his death-bringing magic. Why? Well, so far, we probably have at least 45 potential candidates. At least. Damn, is Obama hated that much that everyone wants to get in on the fun? Or is this just some dog-and-donkey-sex show meant to distract us from the "real issues." Or, better yet, is it just a way for "The Powers That Be" to piss off "intellectual" and "Black" Twitter: trotting out candidates who, in their hearts, accept they have no chance of winning but want to try it out because reasons (looking at you, Ben Carson, Waka Flocka Flame, and Martin O'Malley). Who knows? I don't, I was an English major.

But, I do know this. When you have too many cooks and not enough servers and managers, you're pretty much setting up for a cannibalistic approach to your dinner. So, line up, grab a plate, and let's watch the clusterfuck unfold. For all we know, Obama could've made himself God King of Zamunda and overtaken the US while we were sleeping.

...and sarcasm doesn't translate as well in an op-ed as in real life.

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