An interview with True God, Part Four

Today, I sit down with #TeamDAR compatriot True God once again to make heads or tails of, pretty much, his life since his whole world ended. Things get real, even more so than usual in this one. So, sit back and let's begin. It's going to be a hell of a ride.

SOTB: So True, let me get right into it. What's your state of mind right now? I mean, there have been some rumblings that you are going down that dark, treacherous path known to me as "The Road to #SONGSFOR817."

TG: Figured you would liken my path to Songs For... in some way (laughs)

SOTB: Of course (laughs).

TG: Got a cheap plug and shit. But, honestly? My state of mind is about as dark as you can get at this moment. I lost the most dear thing to me for a bit, so I'm not sure how to function half the time. You take something away from me that means more than anything, you put me in a position where my actions could be irrational, resentful, angry, or fatal. That's never a good place to be. I still have a lot of energy musically because pain creates art. Anger creates art. So, with that energy, I use that to make more and more classic music. Personally, my state of mind is cluttered. No peace. There will not be any peace until what's mine is back with me. And until there's peace? There might be hell. 

SOTB: How are things at home now, considering everything that's transpired? 

TG: At home? Depends on what you call home. I'm basically living completely alone for the first time in my life ever. I moved out of my moms at around 18-19 with the mother of my child and we lived together for years after that. So I'm out on my own, and really, with the exception of the cat we shared, Monkey--my little homie--it's just quiet and saddening at times. Nothing's worse than being alone at a time when you probably need somebody around to at least help you through the tragic shit that's been going on. So, at home? It's been awkward. Pretty subdued. Being without my child, though it's still recent? I feel dead on the inside honestly.

SOTB: Take me through the process of Soul REvival 2. I wasn't able to get to the studio this go-around to see it in person (personal reasons).

TG: The best way to go through the process of Soul REvival 2? Follow the "Behind The Revival" series on my blog as it's descriptive on lyrics, songs, motivation behind songs and motivation for the album and my life at the time. So there goes the process really as far as delving deep into it. If we're just talking what it was like in the studio? Easiest album I've recorded ever. Usually, it takes me 5 months, 6 months and 8-10 sessions to finish an album. All my projects have been either 12 or 13 songs. I did 15 songs for this album over 2 recording sessions in a 3 week period. 15 songs completely finished over 7-8 hours through 2 sessions. That's just the energy behind it and how efficient I've become musically. It was amazing to do and to experience honestly. 

SOTB: You're going to hate me for this, but how has Zuri's removal from your life affected your music and your outlook?

TG: My music? They won't hear that yet on Soul REvival 2. It's all recent, so the album was already done before the whole thing truly went down. As far as my outlook? It makes just hustle harder so that I can get her back in my life without any bullshit or pettiness around. I think when things do work out, it will be for the better so I can be with her away from anybody in my ear or just causing friction. As far as life's outlook period? Just appreciate everyday with those you love because when they are taken away for whatever reason, whether right or wrong, you feel that shit terribly. Like there's the last conversation I had with her a few days ago when I last saw her, and I told her how proud I am to be her father and how much I love her, and how no matter what, I will be back for her. I broke down after that. That was the most emotional moment of my life. The person who took her from me wanted to hurt me beyond belief and they accomplished their mission. Good for them, I guess. I'm just dreaming about the get back and having things right again in my life. It wont be long. I'm sure of that. Faith guides me there. 

SOTB: Do you ever think that you'll be able to forgive her mother for this? I mean, True, we know that this has been going on for a minute; you both did some crazy shit, but, you know, this is something that's way out there.

TG: Forgive her for this? I already have forgiven her for it. I know her better than anybody else. I think this is where people look at me funny like "You forgive her?," "Why is she still alive?," "That bitch needs to be dead", and all this. But, I really have to find some internal peace with her before I make a mistake and my child suffers for it, and I suffer for it in some way. I think that's where my maturity and growth has to come in. Where she might not exhibit that in everyday life, I have to. I know that she truly makes misguided decisions clouded by her disposition and some of her insecurities, and I've always seen to the heart of that. I will always love her for the gift of Zuri, but I have hatred in my soul for her for being the one to put the nail in the coffin for the family that I believed we both wanted. Hatred in my soul for her doing what she's done. But, I can't say that I'm not surprised by any of her actions. 
She's a chameleon. She adapts to whatever she is around. I'm not surprised by it. I don't understand it, but I was already aware that this was possible, as I discussed it with my circle a full month or two before she did it, like "I think she's tossing this idea around in her head", and people would be like "no, she's not like that, why would she do that? What would be there for her besides _____?" and that's when I realize that no matter how apart we are mentally, I'm still in tune with her mental and what she's thinking. If anything, that makes me angry at myself for getting so close to someone that I can tell what they are thinking before they might have even thought of it sometimes. When it's all said and done, I forgive her for it. Forgiveness is not for her, but for me. If I didn't forgive her, I don't know how much worse this situation would be or could get. I say that from a honest place too. I'm sure she looks at that and goes "nigga this" and "nigga, that," but people don't really understand how close [things got to getting very] ugly. She likes to provoke those type of things and I believe she was trying to do the same a few weeks ago. I can see things a mile away, so I'll take a loss and let her spark some shit, because if I react like I want to, guess who's in trouble and assed out? Me. Not her. Me. That's some real sneaky shit too, but yeah, I forgive her to put a part of my soul at ease. 

SOTB: How's your relationship with your family, considering some of the songs I've heard from Soul REvival 2?

TG: My family? Me and my mother are on decent terms. She's been going through health issues lately that put me in an even worse space after all the drama I was already dealing with. She's alive though and doing better and despite all our previous issues, I'm grateful to still have my mother alive because like I said earlier, you have to appreciate those you love because at any minute they can go. As far as my cousins, aunts, and uncles, I stay my distance always. No one in my family really understands me honestly. I don't want to be the 50 year old man sitting around looking at porn all day, not showering daily, being happy with being homeless like my uncle is. My aunt is quite possibly the sneakiest woman I've ever seen, so I stay away from her. A few of my cousins I'm sort of close to, but those are all street related family on top of being blood related so it's different. I keep my distance somewhat to stay away from the bullshit they are heavy in. I don't fully keep my distance, but I try to mostly. I lost the woman who raised me this year too. She was my great aunt, but was more like a grandmother or second mother to me. She raised me. While my moms was out working 14 hour days to keep a roof over my head, which I love her for, my great aunt was there to watch me, guide me, instill so many values, street values and life lessons. Losing her was the hardest thing ever. I hadn't been to a funeral in over 10 years at the time. I went to hers without any issue. Before she passed, she was in the hospital for months. I never got a chance to visit her because I never knew she was in the hospital. No one called me and told me. I went to go visit her one day, and noticed she wasn't there. No one told me. So, I never got to see her before she passed. I live with that everyday man. The woman who raised me and I never got a chance to see her before she left this earth. That shit hurts. So, I hold some anger towards my family for that. They had my number. They could have called. They didn't call until it was too late.

SOTB: What was the hardest song you had to put out for SR2? Lord knows that you have some heavy-ass material on there?

TG: Honestly? "Zuri's Song" and "Lost Love (Parts 1 Thru 3)" were the hardest two to record. It details so much shit that I've never committed to wax and puts a close to the chapter of my life from before. When people hear them both..... they will understand.

SOTB: Why put a song like "Crown the Champion" on SR2? Some'd argue that putting a boasting track on such a "personal" album is ill-fated. I suffered some questions and weird looks by putting "Fire!" on Songs For..., so that's why I ask.

TG: As far as putting "Crown The Champion" out on Soul REvival 2? It was a no-brainer. This album IS PERSONAL. "Crown The Champion" is how I personally feel about my talent, something that's near and dear to me. The wrestling samples are a part of what I love too. It's all personal and a part of my life you know? Not everything has to be painful or even a form of redemption. Sometimes there's a part of your journey that starts as triumphant. The placing of "Crown The Champion" on the album comes after an interlude titled "Isolation." So, basically after I've isolated myself from the world, I can look into the mirror and find who I really am, which totally goes with the flow of the rest of the album after that. So it fits perfectly. You have to hear the album before you make that assessment I would say. Plus, "Crown The Champion" is so dope (laughs).

SOTB: What was your first thought, going to Songs For..., when I told you that I was redoing "Wear Crowns" as "Kings (Edited into the Echelon)--with the whole edited thing?

TG: Didn't bother me. It was your album. If you need me for something, you are a huge part of my team, so of course, I got you. It was an interesting idea. But, once again, it's your album. Just like with my first two albums, I really sought out your advice and Stephen Joseph's advice and made you two co-executive producers on Soul Revival 1 and D.O.A., but with Soul REvival 2 and every album afterward, I'm the sole executive producer, you know? So it basically speaks to the fact that this is my album and no one can feel a way about what I do with it. And with that same respect, that's how I felt about what you did.

SOTB: Switching gears, I've gotta ask: were you one of those people overhyped over Kendrick's "Control" verse?

TG: Overhyped? Hell naw (laughs). The verse was dope, but it wasn't even the best verse on the song. Jay Electronica's verse was murderous and lyrically better. Kendrick just had the best flow on the song and called out names. I definitely wasn't overhyped by the verse or the reactions. I just found it to be interesting. It's not Kendrick was the first to call names. TEAMDAR been calling names out from day one, the masses just been sleeping so that didn't register with me.

SOTB: Would you respond to him or would you say that "what my team does is so above you that there's no need?"

TG: I wouldn't say TEAMDAR is above a response, but I just didn't care enough. My lyrics and bars, and my team's lyrics and bars has always been up, so I don't see any competition there. Kendrick is the only dude that's recently dropped who put out a solid debut album, besides TEAMDAR in my opinion. There's the angle that I think people forget. TEAMDAR has nothing but dope albums and mixtapes in the catalog. Nothing is weak or mediocre. So, there won't be a response to capitalize off this "buzz" like the rest of these artists doing so. All these "battle rappers" and shit making responses hoping to get some type of attention. For me? I let these albums and this art speak for me, they can't fuck with my team there. Or in skill period. Lyrically. It's just something that's becoming more and more apparent. 

SOTB: Will we see you make amends with some of your victims at any point? Because, no dickrider, you tend to tear people you spit against apart.

TG: No. That's something that I don't have a reason to do. If we have had an issue, and you got murdered by me or my team, once it's over, it's over. If there's money to be made possibly, I can see a song or something happening, but it wouldn't be genuine. I don't usually have issues with people for no reason. Especially if it gets beyond a simple misunderstanding. If I tear you apart during our issues? Then it's dead. If we had a personal bond beforehand, maybe we could talk. Maybe. That's it though.

SOTB: What do you say to people that claim #TeamDAR but don't really know what it means?

TG: They should talk to me first. If you repping TEAMDAR and you not aware of the movement, come talk to me first. Then we'll see if you should still be claiming it. Simple as that.

SOTB: Finally, what should we expect from True God after Soul REvival 2? I know your ass isn't gonna retire...yet.

TG: More music. Next album, Mind of A Genius is coming by spring 2014 at the latest. The energy is there. I've got two more albums after Mind of A Genius drops. Then I'm done. There's books, movies, radio, y'know, WrestlingHeelsRadio, and of course TEAMDAR branding moving forward. It never stops man. You know this.

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