The Jack Thompson Effect -- Revisited

Greetings, guys, girls, and those that identify with both but claim neither.

So, perusing through my Facebook heavily for the first time since, probably, that whole thing with Dezeray went down, I came across a "note" that I wrote almost seven years ago. It was entitled The Jack Thompson Effect and it went something like this:

"I'm a guy, obviously. And as a straight guy, I have a certain God-given right to stop and stare at a young woman, no matter how chauvinistic it sounds. And, if she appeals to me in a way that would result in more than a quick fuckfest, I may stop and attempt to spark a conversation; an intelligent one, mind you, not "A'yo, shawtay, what's good? U trynna fuck wit a nigga?" or something to that effect.

However, and I'm pretty sure that this has happened to someone else out there, when you approach said young woman with curves in all the right places, and you talk to her, you discover something. Something vile and repulsive, almost as bad as "I have an STD": That little light-skinned girl with the dimples and the booty rocking everywhere, and the skintight jeans so you can see a actually just 13.
Now, I don't know what type of R. Kelly-type ish ya'll are on out there, but I'd rather not go to jail for child molestation. So, I propose the following...

All girls under 15 should be branded, "Scarlet Letter" style (that's a book, by the way, for those too slow to know that), with a big-ass "U" on their blouse, indicating that they are what I like to call "uber-underaged". Also, the sale of tight-fitting clothing articles and whatnot to these "uber-underaged" is prohibited...anyone caught selling these items should be fined on the first offense, and jailed each subsequent time afterwards. I like to call this proposed law "The Jack Thompson Effect", after the Florida lawyer that gained fame for going after videogame companies regading elements such as indecent exposure of digital genitallia, for example the Hot Coffee issue with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas"

Now, cameltoe fascination and teenage absurdity aside, I did have a bit of a point. Yes, the age of consent in Maryland is sixteen--apparently, because I remember a year-plus after writing that post on Facebook, I had an incident at a party where some girl that was in high school wanted me to give her the business. I refused, but she said "you know, I'm legal, right? I'm sixteen." But, still, if you're over a certain age (ed. note -- anything over 18), you should not want to get it in with anyone that you can go to jail/potentially go to jail/have her parents kill you over. That shit should never, ever, evaaaaaaarrrrrrrr cross your mind. So, how, you're probably wondering, can we tell/avoid this shit?

Well, unless we do go around pinning Scarlet U's on people, you can't. You've just got to play it safe and avoid places where you'll run into people that are probably out of your age range. If you're 21 and over, hanging out at the mall on a random day is something you should not do unless you're in your 60s--and even then, it's still creepy (if not creepier). Don't go into Hot Topic (or Spencer's for that matter), and if you really love their clothes and crap, order online. Don't go to movie theaters that are in heavily populated (sub)urban areas. It's not just little Becky that's looking to get it in with an older man. Little Taneka is too, apparently. And, so on.

This has been another Speed on the Beat thought of the day. Don't do NSFW things with people that you can look at and tell that there's some potential legal loopiness. Ever. 

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