Tuesday, July 22, 2014

RAW Review 7/21/14

Oh my word, that was horrible. So horrible that I had to take about thirteen hours to process the sheer putrid nature of last night's RAW. Don't get me wrong, though. There were decent spots. For instance, Paige's Turn, Dolph Ziggler got a win, Ambrose and Cesaro faced off--and (technically) in the main event, too--and Dr. X(avier Woods) rebooting the Stamford, CT chapter of the Nation of Domination. Oh, and this guy returned.


But, as you probably know by now, it's more fun to rag on the bad than harp on the good. So, let's just get on with...the rest of the crap.

Rusev Crush!

For those that thought that WWE would pull the plug on the Rusev angle after the backlash about referencing "the current events," don't you know wrestling by now? Vince McMahon will do anything for a pop. This includes "killing" himself (but reappearing and nixing that angle after Benoit), having his daughter (almost) sacrificed, have his daughter ridiculed, and having his son take bumps like a bawse (thank you Jay Hunter).


So, when Rusev came out last night, and had Lana run down the USofA, no one should have been surprised. While it was a distasteful promo (the "current events" one)--especially because of the ramifications of the real event--but we moved past the promo (partly due to WWE not harping on it too much, and mostly because Rusev and Lana are being "buried" for the promo/put on the backburner because of it, per WINC and F4W). Now, controversy or not, I think Rusev is one of the most boring talents in WWE today--even with that nasty Superkick. So, what d'ya think you'll get when you put Rusev and The Greatest Wrestler Ever, Dead or Alive Khali together in a match?

You get Botchamania, Foreign Edition.

It's insane how the WWE still hypes beating Khali up as an accomplishment, even if it is to pander to the international market. For Pete's Sake, there's gotta be a more mobile Indian wrestler WWE can shill, right?


...oh, yeah. #RIP3MB

Bitch, Please?

The Disgruntled Employee versus The Authority Figure storyline is almost always gold. From CM Punk That Guy Who Came Out To "Cult of Personality" versus Triple H to Stone Cold versus Mr. McMahon, this storyline has brought us some of the greatest moments in wrestling history, in my opinion. But, this extended segment was just cringeworthy. Brie Bella constantly shrieking the word "bitch" and Stephanie getting "arrested," I guess were supposed to be "edgy" moments, but it was just frustrating how starved we've become for ballsy authority figures that Stephanie McMahon getting (ahem) bitchslapped by Brie constitutes as "oooooh wow!"-caliber entertainment.

Now, I love Stephanie McMahon, but she needs a partner that can go in a bit more with what she's given. That's why, love her or hate her, Vickie Guerrero was a perfect foil for Mrs. McMahon. Brie still doesn't have that range to give a convincing enough performance for me, personally, to give two craps about this storyline's conclusion. As long as Daniel Bryan comes back, I'm good.

The Florida Flo Rider Flo Rida Performance


Zack Rida Ryder vs. Fandango


Remember when both of these men were over? At least Mr. WWWYKI got a win, and some "action."

Maybe I'm being cynical, but last night's RAW was just...no. Also, don't expect these reviews weekly. I don't have the patience to sit through three hours of wrestling debacles. 

Welcome to SpeedontheBeat.com Version 3.0

Still gives me a reason
About two years ago, after I got in some ish, but before I started having Thursday Daemons (see left), I restarted my blog under my new "stage" name, Speed on the Beat. Utilizing a simple Blogspot account, I touched on many issues--personal and otherwise--while showcasing my ability to analyze and make light of almost anything I spoke on. This, in my notes and the like, was known as "SpeedontheBeat.com, Version 1.0." It performed the duty of being my main stomping grounds. But, as the allure of Speed on the Beat grew (and people started to actually know who the hell I was), I knew I had to further branding efforts. So, I purchased a domain name and SpeedontheBeat.com was born.

SpeedontheBeat.com, in its initial state, was "SpeedontheBeat.com, Version 2.0." It had the domain name, but still lacked a clean feeling. Blog posts were disjointed, fonts were screwy, and so on. In mid-2013, I began implementing Disqus comments and link-backs to posts, to both boost traffic and alleviate some of the eyesore. But, it wasn't enough. What's the point of delivering dope content if people can't read it/find it?

So, today, I want to welcome you all to SpeedontheBeat.com, version 3.0. To coincide (somewhat) with the release of Death of The King, I've redesigned the site (with some help from some free templates because I'm cheap in that regard). As you can see, it's a lot sleeker. It's a lot more visually appealing. And, well, it's a lot more professional. Does that mean I'm going to stop being irreverent and buttoned-up on every issue? Heck no. Do you see the image in the left-hand corner? But it does mean that people won't have to strain their eyes reading what I've written. And that, my friends, is half the battle.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Not-So Social Media, Take Two: On Sextual Healing

[Disclaimer: This post is intended for those over the age of eighteen, due to its frank and sexual content and nature. While the thoughts expressed do represent the views of Speed on the Beat, viewer discretion is still advised. Also, for those under eighteen that are reading this, I have a few things I want to say. I won't scold you for reading this, but I just want you to enjoy being a kid. Don't be in a rush to bone and/or grow up. Also, having sex doesn't make you a grown-up. There are plenty of "grown-ass kids" out here having sex and being reckless. Being responsible for yourself and your actions? That's grown-up. Finally, if someone tries to pressure you into a sexual situation, peace out and leave them be because they're not respectful of your wishes/desires. And that, my friends, is some ish I don't like.]

Greetings, all.

It's your friendly neighborhood rapper-slash-pop-culture-pundit Speed on the Beat back with a new "NSSM" entry. If you remember the last volume, we discussed meeting friends, dating people from online and its potential fails, and apparently "sexy selfies."

We also discussed this young woman and
those who thirsted for her. Hi Reina.
What we failed to get into, surprisingly, was sexting. Now, sexting is as old as the internet (and before that, there was straight up phone sex). I'm sure that most of you have at least "cybered" with someone in your lifetime, either through Skype, Kik, or AOL Instant Messenger. If you say "no," you're lying and kittens everywhere are crying tears of sadness over your failure to tell the truth. And for that, I dislike you.


But memes and thirst traps aside, sexting has always been around--well, around as long as there has been technology to do so. So, with that said, I spoke with a few people (read: my son's mom and a couple of my friends) and asked them what they thought about sexting and its implications in the world. An overwhelming response to that question was "why do [guys] always have to send their junk?" 


Personally, I try not to send crotch shots to women, as no one really wants a schlong in their text messages. Plus, if that person gets mad at you for something--whether it's your doing or her's--you run the risk of having your penis, face--or penis face--blasted all over the internet. The same rules apply to women, because some guys are, well, penis faces. Do I like sexting with people? I've done it, it's not bad. However, I'm sure my penis is floating around out there in cyberspace--but not to a (ahem) Weiner level of floating. I'm also pretty sure that a young woman who I told not to contact me after we stopped talking set up a M4M Craigslist ad to get back at me for saying I didn't wish to continue our "relationship" (as this was before "catfishing" became a widespread, MTV-worthy thing).

I also prefer actually being intimate versus talking about being intimate. But sometimes, you've got to do what you've got to do; everyone has their kinks. When it becomes problematic is that, when sexting, you're pretty much putting every ounce of reputation you have on the line and putting all your faith in the idea that the other person won't completely go ape and turn you into a meme or something. 

That's why I tend to not sent "dick pics" to people, unless I've really grown to trust them--or know that neither one of us has intentions to screw the other one over. I once sent my son's mom a DP while we were just starting to date. It was as a response to her sending a shot of her in a bra with the question "does this [bra] look too small?" I was 19 at the time, and I thought it'd be kind of tongue-in-cheek and flirty to send a DP. 

False. 

She sent back "why'd you send me this" and I had to CMA quick, fast, and in a hurry. Thankfully, she just thought it was kind of dorky (the fact I sent the picture, not the picture itself), or else I probably wouldn't have my son. Men, we sometimes jump the gun. Hence the abundance of DPs that get sent out to women. It's part of us trying to have our egos stroked, part of us trying to...well, you know. We feel "hey, if she sees this, she'll definitely want to sleep with me/get to know me because she wants to sleep with me," when we're really saying "hey, all I want is to put one thing inside another thing and leave it at that." Even if we're crushing heavily on the girl and she knows, that's the vibe that a DP can give off--unless asked for and it's that type of conversation.

So, for the TL;DR's out there: sexting can be fun, but don't overdo it as it can have many, many, many repercussions--including creating a national scandal. I did not cover underage sexting because I spoke on over-sexualizing the youths in another post. Plus, that ish is just...nasty. Sure, we've probably all done it to a degree, but as an adult, it's scary and gross to think about IMHO.



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